Since I’ve been an Adult™ for anywhere from six months to the past four years, depending on who you ask – don’t ask my mother – I’ve gathered some interesting information for any of those who feel like they are bad at being an adult. Here is some of that wisdom.
1. Sometimes you won’t want to adult and that’s fine
Being an adult comes with a ridiculous amount of pressure. For someone who hates crying, I sometimes let myself just give into it and let loose. And I’m not talking a quiet sob while prompted by an unsuspected Adele song. I’m talking full-out, Kim K. ugly-crying while my neighbours watch me from the second floor balcony for a bit before shutting their blinds. It’s fucking hard to have it all together. Find something you like to do that makes you feel like Not An Adult sometimes. For me, it’s walking through the mall and rolling my eyes at cute old couples sitting on benches, or dancing in my kitchen with the curtains open and not caring that my neighbours are pointing and laughing, or drinking a bottle of wine alone on a Saturday night after telling all my friends I had plans while I binge-watch old episodes of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, or writing this blog. You don’t have to adult all the time, it’s okay to let it go for a bit and just breathe.
2. You will probably think about quitting your job at least twice a week
I love my job. I really do. I work with a team of what can best be described as fucking characters, but they’re my fucking characters. That being said, sometimes they get on my last fucking nerve. Sometimes I go sit in the kitchen and stare out the window and contemplate how much money I could potentially make freelancing, or hooking, or selling badly-knit headbands on Etsy that my mom describes as “cute!….very unique!” Sometimes I go sit in my car and look at Instagram fit-tea models just to get out of the office and remember that at the end of the day, at least I don’t have to explain to my dad that I’m selling tea on Instagram using my body. There are tons of ways to make your work day a bit better. Having a work bff is a big help and it also helps if they think every other person is a fucking character as well. Get up and moving, remind yourself you have a heartbeat, go out for lunch even if it’s by yourself, make use of those personal days and always remember that you work to live and not the other way around.
3. You will never be an adult in the eyes of your siblings
While your parents stand around and take credit for the fully-formed, only slightly damaged adult you have turned into, your siblings will always see you as their older or younger brother or sister. One recent weekend I jumped on my sister’s bed after a long day of skiing and I accidentally landed on her knee so, in retaliation, she pushed me off the bed and I ended up with a disgustingly green bruise under my kneecap and an equally ugly green one smack in the middle of my right ass cheek. We’re 25 and 19. We have our own cars and legitimate jobs. We’ve made our own doctor’s appointments and we pay off our own credit cards. All that to say, your siblings have seen you at your worst. My sisters witnessed the mom jeans I wore in the fifth grade. They witnessed my half-hearted emo phase (turns out studded belts and Good Charlotte merch isn’t a cute look for chubby 13-year-old gingers). They witnessed my Twilight obsession days. That was a dark time. They’ve basically witnessed every mortifying event in my life and it has rendered me completely un-adult-like in their eyes. And I have to admit it’s pretty nice.
4. Buying and cooking your own food is like, the worst thing
I tend to leave groceries to the absolute last minute, which you should never do if you want to get actual, real adult food as opposed to a dozen chocolate croissants and seven packages of Uncle Ben’s rice. One grocery day, I was so hungry that when I got home I ripped the resealable zipper off a bag of tortillas and took a huge bite out of all of them. A stack of tortillas. That’s like, a dozen tortillas. My mother would be horrified to think of me standing in my doorway, grocery bags all over the floor, a dozen flour tortillas clutched in my grubby hands, not even completely out of the plastic bag, a perfectly clearly-had-braces-for-four-years-as-a-young-adult shaped crescent bitten into the side of them. As I was chewing, all I could think was, “You’re better than this, Christine.” Making a grocery list of appropriate foods, having a good mix of vegetables but also allowing yourself a spoonful of Nutella every now and then, learning how to cook chicken so you don’t get salmonella, cleaning up after yourself, owning a meat thermometer, none of it ever gets easier to process.
5. Living alone is the greatest but kinda also lonely sometimes
I love living alone. Literally ask anyone. I recently saw some of my extended family, who learned for the first time that I had moved out. Obviously, one of the first questions they asked was, “Who did you move out with?” to which I had to say, “Oh no, I didn’t move out with anyone, I live alone!” Which, apparently, is a sad answer. I wanted to scream, “I HAVE FRIENDS! I COULD HAVE A ROOMMATE! I JUST LIKE WALKING AROUND IN MY UNDERWEAR!” Sometimes it feels like I have a roommate when I play my music too loud and my neighbours knock on my wall. It can be lonely sometimes, especially if you’re going through a stressful time, or if you accidentally decide one night to look through a bunch of old pictures taken at your parents’ house which is definitely a big mistake don’t do it. If you do get lonely, I suggest ….. drinking a lot of white wine. Anyways, I digress.
I am a fairly sociable person and I generally love being around people, but I also really like being on my own. Here are a list of some things I love being able to do in my own space:
1) Be naked whenever I want
2) Leave my stuff wherever I want
3) Let my dirty dishes pile up in the sink
4) Sing in the shower
5) Never have to close any doors
6) Never being judged when I spend a beautiful day inside on my couch hungover with the blackout curtains drawn, eating sweet chili and sour cream Miss Vickies straight out of the bag while binge-watching Friends.
7) Have I mentioned that I can be naked whenever I want?